The other day, I woke up with a strange phone call.
There was a woman on the line, who desperately wanted to see me. It was eight in the morning and I was very cranky so I couldn’t cope with her and told her it was the wrong number and hung up. But she kept calling me. After the fifth call, I answered and told her to stop bothering me. She insisted that she knew me, that we had met at a party before and she needed my help. I asked about what, yet she wouldn’t tell me on the phone, she needed to meet me face to face and then she would explain the situation. Just so she would stop calling, I agreed and told her I could meet her at a coffee shop around noon.
Afterwards I couldn’t sleep, so I took a shower and went out to get my nails done.
It was almost noon and I wasn’t sure whether to meet with this nut or not. Just as I was deciding, she called again and told me she was waiting in front of the beauty parlor I was at. Interestingly weird, how would she know I was there? Disturbing would be the word actually, if this was a man I would appreciate the stalking a bit but a desperate woman, NO!
Realizing there was no way to hide form her, I left the parlor and saw her waiting with a cup of coffee and a huge smile on her face.
-Hi, thanks for meeting me, it really was urgent, and this is for you, double shot espresso latte with skim milk.
I was surprised that not only she knew where I was but also the coffee I usually drink in the morning.
-Thanks, well, you didn’t leave me choice now, did you?
-You are right; I wouldn’t do this if it wasn’t so important.
-Ok, where do you plan on making yourself clear?
-There’s a park around the corner, I won’t take much of your time.
I nodded and we walked couple blocks and sat on a bench. She seemed like a nice, good-looking, crazy woman, about the same height as me, with blondish hair and a sporty out-fit.
-So, what is this all about?
She seemed very nervous, took a deep breath and took out a pack of camel lights out of her pocket.
-Oops, I almost forgot, this is for you, you smoke camel lights, right?
Trying not to look too disturbed I smiled at her and took a cigarette and watched as she lighted it.
-Ok. Here is why I needed to talk to you. I want you to stop fucking my boy-friend.
-Excuse me!
-Don’t take it the wrong way. I know all about you and my boy-friend Josh. As a matter of fact I have seen you do it in the coat room at the party. Two months ago, there was a party at Dale’s house, you were there wearing a short yellow dress, and you mingled around drinking martinis. You were with a man, an older guy, and I caught Josh looking at you all night long.
- Hey, it was just one time and I didn’t even know he had a girl friend. Trust me I haven’t seen him since.
-That’s not the point, I know you guys met afterwards at the Grand Hotel. You don’t need to lie. I know all about it. He is crazy for you, he masturbates smelling your underwear. I caught him bunch of times.
-Look, I don’t know what your name is, but believe me it is over I don’t see him anymore. I didn’t even like him to be honest. And that other time, I bumped into him in the hotel, I was there for a business meeting and we had a few drinks and that was that. And the underwear, I don’t even think it is mine.
-No, its ok, I know that it is yours. I asked him and he confessed and told me everything. That’s how I know everything about you. He started following you around since you wouldn’t return his calls. And I didn’t know what to do so I started following him. I know you decided to see him this Friday, so I am asking you to stop seeing him.
-Oh wow, I don’t know what to say. If I would have known…
-I know, this isn’t all.
-It isn’t?
-No, I am in love with you.
-Say that again?
-I love you, ever since I started following you around, I.. I don’t know.. I mean I know it all sounds strange but I tried to understand why he was lusting after you, and the more I learned about you the more I wanted to be with you.
-Not quite sure what to say…
-Don’t fuck my boy friend, fuck me.
-So what do you, want to be my girl friend?
-No, I want to be your bitch. I don’t care if you sleep around or do whatever, I just want to be your bitch, whatever you say, I am willing to do it.
-As much as it sounds very tempting, I am going to say no.
-Please just try me, just for a couple of times at least.
-Have you ever gone down on a woman?
-No, but I can do it right here if you want me to.
-This is crazy, really, I don’t even know you.
-Give me a chance.
I really didn’t know what to do; it was one of the strangest moments. I have had a lot of guys willing to do what she offered but never a woman. She looked so much in pain and desire, I couldn’t turn her down.
-Ok, fine. You will do as I say.
-Really, thank you so much.
-I was going to meet with Josh this Friday, so I want you to be there with him. Deal?
-So you want to do us both?
-We will see, how it unfolds; now I should get going.
-Whatever you say.
-Don’t get all excited; just do what you are told.
So I left her there, I wasn’t sure how to play this along, but it sure seemed exciting…
